It's the Sign...of the Dimes....

The Chief....me and John on top of the world!

It’s been almost 19 months without John, but he is never far from our thoughts and the stories we have to share about him come up often through the conversations the boys and I have about him. In so many ways we are constantly reminded that he is with us and that his presence will always be a part of our lives…perhaps it is something he used to say or would have said, or maybe it is something he used to do, or would have done…regardless it is comforting that the influences he had on the boys are forever imprinted in their memories of him. I often find myself wondering just where John’s spirit has travelled to, we had this conversation a few times before he passed...who would he be once he was gone?...where would he go? and although the unknown is solely bound by hope and faith that the spirit never truly dies, how could one ever really be sure until it is, in fact, your time to leave this earth. I imagine that John is somewhere that is inexplicably beautiful and that his destination does not take him too far away from those of us that he has left behind. I told him a few times that he would need to show me signs that he was still around; that he still existed…it was a very tall order but I knew he was up for the challenge.   

         

The thing about signs is that there are many factors that can be left up to interpretation, however, recognizing the signs and believing that there is meaning to it can also be a very powerful thing. Shortly after John passed a friend mentioned something to my sister that seemed both odd and random, she said we would likely begin to find dimes…yes, as in the 10 cent coins…her reason was simply that it would be a sign…a sign that John was with us.  This was not a conversation that my sister put much weight into and she definitely kept it to herself. However, a few days later she came across a couple of dimes that she found in places that did not make sense. When she finally decided to tell me and the boys what our friend had said about the dimes, we thought it was an interesting coincidence, but we were certainly not convinced that finding a dime here and there was a sign from John.

And then it began almost immediately…the boys started to find dimes everywhere they went; especially at school...they found dimes at their locker, in their class, on the way to a practice, in the locker room, on the gym floor, and often, right in their path in the middle of the hallway...dimes showed up in random places just before games or after games, they showed up while at their friends houses, on the bus, walking down the street, coming off the sky train…you name it, there it was, a single dime, in their path, just where their eyes would be looking at a very specific moment in time…there were never any other coins around, just the one dime…and so… it went on...

When I did not find any dimes initially, I began talking to John and telling him that it was annoying already that the boys were finding dimes pretty much daily and I had yet to come across just one…I guess my nagging eventually reached him because out of nowhere one morning, as I stood outside my classroom door waiting for the National Anthem to come over the loudspeaker, I spotted it; a single shiny dime…it was directly across from my classroom door, up against the wall. I think I laughed out loud. Since then I have come across many dimes, and when they show up, I know John is there.

I have tried to keep track of where and when the dimes have been found...on a few pieces of scrap paper I have made note of several occasions where dimes have been found. Today I have a collection of over 100 dimes in my room, the boys have recently told me that when they see a dime now, they do not always pick it up but smile knowing that their dad is there. I laugh thinking that John would seriously want them to pick it up....it is money after all! 

I share this with all of you because I think as time passes we want more than ever to know that there are signs all around us from those whom we love but are no longer here.

When I feel heartbroken and wish that John was still here to see or experience all the amazing things that the boys have been doing, a dime manages to find its way in our path. So, for that reason alone, I will continue to relish in the "sign of the dimes,"

By the way, this is not a phenomenon that we are solely experiencing…a few months after John passed and we had collected over 50 dimes, I did what anyone these days does…I googled it…and wouldn’t you know…it is a thing…some people call it “Dimes from Heaven” 

Some of the dimes we have found over the past year and a half