Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Missing You...






Shortly after John passed away I often found myself sitting in front of his closet and staring at his “stuff”. There is an odd sense of comfort in having his things untouched and piled in the manner that he liked to keep it.  Everything was and continues to be, exactly as he had left it. I know it has already been just over a year, but the thought of having to pack it all away is still difficult to come to terms with. This is still his house and we are still his family, so to not have his things around would not feel right. The irony in John’s accumulation of “stuff” however, is a bit of an oxymoron. While he hated useless items; particularly if they were “new,” he had a knack for taking in many items that one would see as useless and then turn it, into something new. John never liked to give many things away, especially if it held a particular sentiment or was still usable in his eyes. This is why John still has so many of his old clothes from high school and collections of random items that only he would have seen as valuable. John was also thrifty to a fault, at times his idea of a cool new find was, in fact, someone else’s garbage...literally, he could pick something up from the dump or the side of the road and “refurbish” or “repurpose” it.  It always amazed me how he could transform scraps of old windows or doors into something creative and useful. John once made a side table that consisted of old ax handles for the legs and a scrap piece of wood for the top. His creative ideas brought him a lot of joy and he was genuinely proud of making something old into something new.  In our living room, an old French door hangs on the wall where John distressed and painted it so that he could put the boys baby pictures behind the panes of glass. He took joy in these transformations and I was a fan of his work…for the most part.

On September 2, 2107, “Big” Jack passed away peacefully…just one day after John left us a year ago….  He was the master of collecting, creating, transforming, rebuilding and reusing things; which is why John came by this fascination of his quite honestly. His dad definitely sparked his knack for finding a purpose for the most unlikely of items. It has been a sad time for all of us in the midst of still grieving John. The absence of them both is still a very difficult realization to wake up to each day, however, knowing that father and sons are together again can sometimes lessen the sting. Who knows what they are up to now that they are together again.

I know that the boys are young, but they are still old enough to remember that their dad and grandpa had these qualities about them. Perhaps one day, one of them will carry on this legacy.  There is a shed in our yard full of “treasures” that John believed had the potential to be something great, something amazing, and for sure something useful, maybe someday they will be. In the meantime, John's things remain as a comforting reminder of the life we all shared with him. 




Friday, September 1, 2017

1 Year

Green Lake 2010 

On September 1 2016, exactly one year ago today, my life and the boys lives were forever changed. Not only did they lose an amazing father, but, I lost my best friend and partner in crime. John and I met in high school, but we didn’t start dating until after our playing days at UBC. The two of us had a lot of fun together, mostly because we were as similar as we were different, and could challenge one another as much as we could support each other. Over the past 20 years as our relationship evolved and changed, we were always able to maintain the essence of exactly who we were as individuals and who we were as a team. There were no false pretenses, no guarded walls, and certainly no filters between us. This is definitely why our relationship worked. We were always real, honest, and to the point, and we both understood what we wanted, where we saw our family’s future and how we planned to grow old together. The magnitude of John’s loss and the void that his death has left us, cracked the very foundation that our lives together were suppose to be built upon and immediately made me feel like there was no way that I could possibly recover. Losing John was a horrible and incomprehensible tragedy of life that everyone who loved him was not prepared to face, yet had no other choice but to keep on going.

As time moves on, I have come to realize that it is all the little things that I miss the most about John’s absence, things that only “your person” in life truly know and understand about you, but love you anyway.  John is deeply missed everyday, but I feel fortunate to see so much of him in the boys as they are constant reminders that he has not left us. Jack, Hunter, and Cole you have shown unbelievable strength and resilience throughout this past year and I know your dad would be extremely proud of all your accomplishments, despite the terrible hand you have been dealt. He loved being your dad more then anything else!

Today we grieve but we will also take the time to celebrate the life John lived and honor the 41 years he was on this earth as a father, husband, son, brother, grandson, cousin, uncle, coach and friend. Take a moment today to have a beer, go for a run, shoot some hoops, call your friends and family, and appreciate life’s many gifts.

Johnny and his boys forever and always!



Wednesday, August 9, 2017

The John Dumont Classic

Register@ http://www.johndumontclassic.ca/

I have found it difficult to write about John this summer, mostly because everything about summer reminds me of him and how much we loved this time of year together as a family. When the boys were little summer time meant that John was able to do all the things he loved with them; camp, bike, hike, swim, run and of course tackle any sport or game in the yard that he could… John was a master at making everything into a competition and the boys loved it, even if occasionally it meant that there would be tears shed because of it! With John, anything was possible, you name it, the boys in all likelihood have tried it; from skim boarding, to waterskiing, riding their bikes (with no hands), fishing, shooting a BB gun, canoeing, cliff jumping, or learning how to use a bow and arrow, John had a part in each of these experiences with his boys. Being active and indroducing them to new things was what he loved most. It is a wonderful reminder that memories are encapsulated in the experiences and not the things that you give your children; John was not big on buying the boys the latest or greatest of anything, he hated wasting money on "things" and he had a knack for coming up with random activities that no one had ever heard of, but still proved to be entertaining and competitive. Whether it was fetching a metal ring at the bottom of the pool, hitting a target with a tennis ball using your nondominat hand, or balancing on one foot while shooting hoops, John could turn anything into a game. I was always amazed by his enthusiasm for these unconventional activites, so it is no accident that even today the boys seem to be able to turn everything they do into a competition.


Last summer, as John battled his cancer, his family, friends, and former teammates came up with an idea to host an event that would celebrate the ideals and values John stood for; it was an opportunity to bring community, competition, comradery and the sport he loved so much all together in one place. Unfortunately John was not well enough to attend this Inaugural Event and sadly passed away 12 days later. On August 26, The 2nd Annual John Dumont Classic will be held at the Richmond  Olympic Oval.  Jack, Hunter and Cole know their dad would be so humbled and honoured by this continued gesture. Missing John this summer has been particularly difficult, he is not here to relish in the success of the boys and their latest accomplishments. However, knowing that no one can take the memories that he built with with them away, allows me to feel extrememly grateful. We hope to see all of you at this event to share a beer, a few stories, and enjoy some basketball...John would not have wanted it any other way :) 







Thursday, June 1, 2017

15 and counting!

Hunter's 6th Birthday

In 2001 I flew to LA to visit my sister Tricia. She had just had her second baby in 15 months and 911 was still fresh in the minds of everyone around the world. It was an uncertain time and one that left us constantly questioning life. John and I had recently moved back from the Philippines so Tricia and I had not had an opportunity to just hang out with our babies and enjoy time with one another in this new chapter of our lives. Being twins and new moms within months of one another was a unique experience, so being together with our children was important. Funny enough, it was during my trip to see her, that I was surprised to discover that I was pregnant again! John had not come with me and Jack on this trip, so instead of calling him to tell him the news, I waited to surprise him.  Jack was only 10 months old at the time so it’s safe to say that we had not planned this out and it was not something that we had expected; but I guess sometimes the best things in life just happen!  When I got off the plane with Jack, John was eagerly waiting for us at the gate. He had missed us (well mostly Jack) and he reached out to give him a squeeze and a kiss. When he finally leaned in to show me some love, I handed him the pregnancy stick and waited for his response. He smiled with a perplexed look on his face and said, “oh cool, a tongue scraper!”  I’m totally serious! “ What? Umm, no John, look again”…well needless to say I had to tell him what he was looking at! We both couldn’t help but laugh at not only his oddly weird mistake but, the shock of our now growing family!

Hunter was born at 10:30am on June 1, 2002. He was 8 lbs. 12 oz.  John was there to witness yet another son of his enter this world and he was extremely overjoyed and quite frankly a little faint…so much so that the Doctor told him to have a seat and put his head between his legs. True story! I could only shake my head and give him a look, I’m pretty sure I was the one that had just given birth.  John, at 26 years young was already the father of 2 boys, it was a very proud moment and one that helped to fill the cracks in his heart that the loss of the brother he never had a chance to know, had left.  He loved that Jack was going to have a brother to grown up with and his “boys” made him happier then he could have ever imagined. John always let the boys know how proud he was of them. He showered them with lots of love and affection and he always told them how much he loved them. I know that they will remember those parts for sure!

Today Hunter turns 15, it’s a big deal in the life of a young teen when each year means that he is that much closer to the small freedoms you can’t wait to be old enough to experience… 1 more year until he can drive, 3 more years until he graduates from high school and 4 more years until he can “legally” go for a drink! Although this Birthday is the first one he will celebrate without John, I know that the past 14 hold some of his most cherished memories with his dad. The ever-memorable paper bag riding bull, the countless party games, races, trivia, piñatas, and party time fun will never be forgotten. John never missed out on the boy’s birthdays and he made it as enjoyable for them as he possibly could. As much as the teenage years are no longer filled with party games and loot bags, I am grateful that all the boys had the chance to experience that kind of love from him.  Happy 15th Birthday Hunter!  Your dad is always with you, especially today!

From Simons Says to the Bucking Bronco to the good old fashion Potato Sack Race!

Monday, May 8, 2017

The Marathon


The Boys with John after he ran the Vancouver Marathon in 2010


On Friday night the boys and I watched the historic attempt by 3 world-renowned marathon runners on their quest to complete the 26.2 mile race in just under 2 hours. The race was streamed live over the internet and was held in Monza, Italy on a Formula one race track. The idea was to create the perfect conditions in order for a runner of this caliber to be able to break what many view as an “impossible” feat. The race did not disappoint, it was riveting and incredibly inspiring, despite Eliud Kipchoge falling just short of the goal by just 25 seconds.  There is something extraordinary about witnessing people challenge themselves beyond the limits of what we only dream to be possible. Their drive, focus, dedication and passion touch every part of our human spirit, which is why John loved stories like these. He drew so much inspiration from what others were able to accomplish, especially when what they faced seemed insurmountable. I know John would have been blown away watching these men compete, he loved being witness to things of this nature and it made him feel like anything was possible.

Yesterday the Annual Vancouver Marathon took place. Back in 2010, it was the very first marathon John ever participated in and the one that catapulted his drive for running this distance.  John was never one to do things half way, it was always all or nothing, so he decided to get started by joining a running group. At this time in our lives the boys were still young and I had just gone back to school and was enrolled in the Educational Assistant program, which took place on a few evenings during the week. Between John’s work schedule, my school and part time work schedule, and the kid’s schedules, there was little time for much.  John’s training therefore, had to fit around everything else. There were times he had to get in his run the minute he got home from work and before I left for classes and times he had to train late at night, when I got back from work.  Most weekend mornings were not spent sleeping in, but rather up early and off on longer runs with his group. At times I questioned what the purpose of all of this was, John made his training seem like yet another job, he was always on the clock, checking off lists of things he had eaten, the number of miles logged, or planning additional work outs he still wanted to add in. I was exhausted just watching him do it, and I envied his disciple to keep going.

On the day of the race John was not looking for much fan fare, in fact he didn’t want a large barrage of family and friends lining the course and cheering him on, even though it was his first marathon and to most people, an accomplishment to celebrate regardless.  Instead there was a small group of us cheering him on at several check points and then we all witnessed him finish with amazing strength and grace. His time: 3 hours 10 min…a clear sign that although he was just shy of his 35th birthday and started this journey later in life,  John was meant to do this.

Jack, Hunter, Cole, and Jack’s friend Cam, ran a few stretches of the marathon course yesterday in support of their coach and friend, Braden Ralla. This was Braden's third time running Vancouver's BMO marathon and each time he has done so in honor of his mother Devi.  She, like John, also loved to run marathons, but sadly succumbed to her own devastating battle with cancer this past Christmas. Watching Braden run today and seeing the boys supporting him was a true sign that the spirit and love of those who are no longer with us can be found in the manner in which you continue to live life. I was very proud of all of them and know without a doubt, both John and Devi were smiling down, happy to see their boys running together. Perhaps you will see 3 boys in the future, testing their limits and running a race to not only honor their father, but to honor life.
2010 - BMO Marathon